When I Was Alone
by Imtellingmyfatheraboutthis
Summary: Hiya! This story is written in Ron's perspective, after he leaves Harry and Hermione in Deathly Hallows.This first chapter is set immediately after Ron leaves and hopefully I will continue these stories, over time, showing Ron's journey.I have written about this because every time I read Deathly Hallows I find myself intrigued about the happenings of Ron's lonesome adventure.RatedT
1. Chapter 1

When I Was Alone.

**Hiya! I don't know what to say to you guys today! Thank you so much for actually clicking to read it! The actual thought of a real genuine person reading something I've made up in my petty little head is amazing! Also I know I can't expect you to review but if you have time you have no idea how much I would appreciate it, even if it is just a bit of criticism that will actually make my work better. :) can't thank you enough! :D**

**also juts in case you were wondering I happen not to own any of Jo's incredible work or mind and I have enough faith in her to believe she won't sue me! :D**

I hate Harry. Hermione too. Why would they do that to me? I hate it. I hate it all. Harry has no idea what he is doing, he had us running round like bloody lunatics for months on end. It was dangerous. Too dangerous. Did he realise the danger he was putting Hermione in? I was planning on having a calm conversation, telling him my opinions, without quite telling him my opinions, such as the fact we were in a wild bloody goose chase and that he was being a git. I thought that Hermione might see sense, Hermione always see sense, that's one of the things I love about Hermione... I... I think I love her. I really do. That's the first time it has ever crossed my mind... Oh, how could I be so stupid? It explains the way it felt wrong being with lavender, the way I insisted on hermione sleeping on the couch, the reason I would spend ages reading the fail safe ways to charm witches book and subconsciously use one of the books tips... I have always cared very deeply for her, I have always thought she was beautiful, every aspect of beautiful, her looks of course, but mostly her incredible, passionate, caring, loving personality, but me, love her? Oh shit. No, I hate her for staying with Harry, how could she give up on me, leave me and stay with the person who treats my very own sister like dirt, constantly messing her about. Of course, Harry's trying to steal Hermione. He never leaves her side. I actually don't understand a single thing right now. Shit, I actually don't get it, any of it and I don't know what 'it' is but I'm bloody sure it something I don't understand or don't know what to do about... So I just stand here , eyes tightly shut, with my clenched teeth and my fists gripping my hair, practically pulling it out, but I don't feel any pain from it ; I'm in too much pain already, my heart feels like a smashed bottle, with tiny pieces of glass as painful as they an be, jabbing my insides, my muscles, bones, skin, lungs, everything, ever, shattered beyond repair.

At some point in our live I guess we'll discover our 'it' an right now, I don't know what my 'it ' is wether it's a person, an emotion, feeling, time, a decade, a moment or a million moments, but when my 'it' comes, I'll know. And I think it's coming soon.

So I continue to stand here for a while, my eyes tightly shut, clenched teeth and fists gripping my hair in too much pain to feel pain. I just yell. I yell all their names, Voldemort, the Lestranges, the Malfoys, the Carrows, every single death water I can think of, I just hate them all so much... Screaming their names doesn't change much but it makes me feels braver; I rarely say their names, Voldemort's almost never. The angers burns through me, making me feel weak but strong and wobbly, I just want to curl up an cry, but crying wont change anything, I'm not stupid and I'm not naive.

After a million moments ( GodKnowsHowLongItWas...) I unclench my teeth, loosen my fists, numb from both the pressure and the cold and open my eyes. I wait for my eyes to adjust to the darkness, so dark it is almost blinding.

I look around, taking in my surrounding, I don't know where I am but there is a clearing and a hill, I think I am in a forest, because I can see trees. It is calm and still and beautiful ( I cannot see, it's a beauty deeper than appearance. Rather like Hermione I suppose, but I hate the bloody girl. Hate her. Hate her. Hate her.), but so empty, so lonely without... The others. I take in the silence, the way nothing moves. It is me, alone in an empty darkness.

I am angry and alone and tired and confused and I just don't know what to do.

I hear a crack and then the leaves rustle; a branch falling off a tree and on to the crunchy bed of autumnal leaves below. I think about that tree, visualise it, an old oak, the living thing have a giant price broken off of it. I wonder if it hurts, I wonder if everything cares if everything feels pain and we are just too weak and petty to see it... Every single one of us humans are selfish arrogant and nasty, simply some less so than others. Why do we even care though? All caring will do is hurt us. And that's what just happened I cared. I cared and they hurt me and I regret it as regret everything I ever did say, but I still think I love her, but how can I love her if the only thing she ever did as hurt me? I don't know why I even bother. There is no logical reason. I suppose there isn't really a logical point of living either, if I died I would just leave, my body remaining but me, gone. It seems to appealing...

I stand and think, think about everything, all the thoughts I ever did think dancing around my head in circles, but just going to fast for me to grasp. Eventually the tree returns to me. It comes back to me and I realise even though I don't see te point of living, I should probably move somewhere else.

A rustle. Whispering. Muttering.

This means humans. People. Civilisation. Are they after me?

I keep quiet. I don't know what to do. Maybe I do want to live? I guess there's no point to living, but there's no point of dying either...

I smell them. Smell them before I see them. An they smell to high heaven, reek of all the things I hate most bunched up into a huddle of one of the most atrocious smells I have ever had the misfortune to whiff. So, I hear them, I smell them, there's only one thing left now.

That when I see them. They are running, running, towards me? Almost certainly. They run at me, I suppose the logical thing to do now is run, run from them. I stumble, practically blinded by the darkness, into the trees, into th dark forest. Branches swing back and hit me in the face, the leaves under my feet crunching loudly as I stumble my way around. They are advancing fast, I can hear them. I hear one yell and sharply turn my head around in their direction. My eyes are getting closer o the floor. It I all happening in slow motion, until, BAM, my face is at on the floor. I can hear my heart beating like drums banging the very inside of brain. I need to move, get up, as quickly as I can and flee, but I can't, something somewhere in my body has given up. Admit defeat Ron... They're king to catch you, just think of a name, of anyone, anything to preserve my life

The shadows and the shout progress closer by the second, until their dark figures are looming over me.

"Name?" One says in a gravely voice.

I pause, hesitating for a millisecond, in an attempt to try and work out which person I should claim to be...

"Shunpike," I mutter "Stan Shunpike..."

**Hi! Did you actually make it to the end? Well done! I apologise that it was pretty bad... But hey! I tried :P**


	2. Chapter 2

**When I Was Alone Chapter 2**

**Hiya! Got chapter 2 for you guys! Hope you liked it! I would like to give a special little thanks to TeddyLupin7 who is amazing and gave me a review which massively supported me and gave me a reason to give you a second chapter! :) I cannot explain how much it means to me when someone reviews... Or just the thought of real people reading my weirdy ideas written not very well is brilliant! Thank you so much people of the earth :D**

**P.S. In case you haven't worked oufeel the fact that I am on and from my probably really bad writing, I AM NOT JO ROWLING!( ewe eps desperately) no matter how much policy juice potion I take, I don't think I will ever be my Queen Jo...**

"Shunpike," I mutter "Stan Shunpike..."

"Stan, eh?" growls the biggest ugly man standing on the right of the gravelly voiced even uglier man. He turns to look at the men either side of him, gravelly voiced first, then a smaller and as my eyes adjust I realise the smaller man is also extremely ugly,from what I can make out, anyway. He has a flat face and fat lips that are as flat as the rest of his face, making it appear like he ran straight into a door filled with punching telescopes a bit like on this muggle telly show Hermione showed me that she thought I might like... It was kind of funny but mostly really weird, I told her I really liked it anyway, I think that's the sort of thing girls like... It was called something like 'complete wipeout' or something and it involved a load of random muggles jumping around a giant obstacle course with loads of mud and water( **A/N I know, or assume anyway! That total wipeout didn't exist in 1997, but lets just pretend! Does total wipeout exist in places apart from Britain? Not sure if all you guys know of it! It's basically just how 'Ron' explained it before :D )**. It was nuts, in a kind of good way!

Shit... I have 2 huge and one rather small men in front of me, one of whom has taken my wand from me, all three of whom were not at all afraid to use any spell, forgivable or unforgivable, whilst I lie on the ground... This is a bloody bad situation and what am I doing? Yup, thinking about a bizarre muggle telly show that Hermione showed me. Hermione. Oh god. If... If they capture me, I will never see her again. I couldn't. I can't. I have to make it through this. I will do anything. I need to see her, I will go and talk to harry. Holy Shit. What in hells name was I thinking, running off like that? I want to see Hermione again and Harry, I love Harry too, not in that way, but he's been my best friend for six and a half years of my life and I left them because I was getting a little angry? What was up with me? I just need to see her again, both of them...

My thoughts are interrupted by the biggest bloke(**A/N is bloke a British word for man :) **)" ay, roger, wha' you finkin'? Shunpike, or not Shunpike?"

"Dunno. Don't the name sound like you' heard it b'fore? Look at the sheet you fuckin' moron" gravelly voice bloke says.

"U ain't gonna be goin' round talkin' to me like that. 'N I'm shit at readin'... Don't fink I read well enough to look... Ay, bet shorty reads. You read yeah?"

Shorty nods his head slightly, I would have almost felt sorry for him if he wasn't trying to effing capture me... I can see his finger running down the list.

PleasePleasePleasePleasePleasePlease, I whisper to myself. The name can't be on there. That list could change my life... Well, end my life, more accurately... I can feel the fear cascading through my body, the shivers flowing in waves, everywhere possible covered in goosebumps. I'm so terrified I want to throw up. This is the first time I have been captured alone, with know one sure of my whereabouts, no one there to have my back. This is luck. And this luck means life or death. I must believe. I will always hope for the best. If I am freed by tomorrow morning I will start my journey to return, to rediscover our, their camping spot.

"Nope, nufin," says the shorter guy.

"But, nah, that can't be right, I've heard the name before some're b'fore..." the ugliest guy says.

"I'm not an idiot, when I say he ain't on the list, I mean he ain't on the list," the shorter guy retorts back... He had certainly gained confidence in the previous five minutes!

"I know him, so stop talking to me like I have not a clue in hell who 'e is" the gravely voiced one says.

"Just fuck off, cooper, roger. Stop being such dicks to me... Bet 'chya don't know 'o this bloke is anyway!" Shorty replies, sounding proper angry, clearly he is not only short in temper, but height too!

And then the fight breaks out. They run at each other, Cooper and Shorty, yelling some of the rudest words I have ever head in my life and some so bad I have not even heard before... I don't feel it necessary to repeat what they are saying, so I won't. Then Cooper throws a punch( a downward punch, to be precise, Shorty was very short!), a proper, powerful nasty, IReallyWantToHurtYou kind of punch. Not surprisingly, Shorty returns a similar punch, that is the final straw for them. Try are off. Punching and kicking and hitting and swearing and even biting. Roger stands there, looking completely nonplused.

I suddenly realise this is my chance to go for it, to run, to find the others and let things return to normality... Well as normal as things were, camping in a bloody tent for months, looking go parts of an evil person soul which had been stuck in random objects... At least I would be with some of the people I loved. Wherever people I love are, moving, stationary, a building, it could be somewhere that we don't all live in, it could be a tent, but where the people I love are... That is home. I want to go home. I want to go home now. I could go back to my other home, the place I spent the first 17 years( I was at school for a portion of it though...) of my life living in that place... The Burrow. I cast my mind back home( I have two homes, I suppose... One of them has changed from Hogwarts to a tent though...) and think of Ginny, off at Hogwarts, Fred and George, running the joke shop. But are they? Oh God. They might have been captured, tortured, even... Killed, why did they put up those signs about you know poo last year? Oh Jesus Christ. What is dad doing, now the ministry has been taken over, running what is essentially the muggle health and safety department? I highly doubt it, under this new regime... Bill, at she'll cottage, with Fleur, I can't believe his wolffish tendencies helped him very much. Was Charlie still in Romania? Had someone discovered him and taken him back to this hellish British world? And Percy... Probably still being his bastardly self. I'm not even sure I love him any more; he did something which no one should ever to do their family. I don't think I can ever forgive him, but, if, if I die, here, tonight, tortured, or just hit by the killing curse I will die. I will have died, not acing seen my very own brother properly for about two years and the last thing I did with him is fight... That hurts my heart, if that hurts me. I guess I love him... So still casting my mind back I realise mum will be the only one home, constantly alone, tired and concerned for her children. I need to escape, people shouldn't be able to do this to us. I have to escape.

With that thought in mind, I bound up, grab my and Rogers wand. He turns, confused, I run, confused, not sure of how or where I am going. I run into through the woods, as fast as possible, wanting my mind to work out what to do next. I don't think it does. I dot know what to do, I really don't...Apparate! I'm such an idiot! How could I forget? To Apparate I seriously need to concentrate though, because I am so crap at it. I stop. They must be chasing after me by now I can visualise them, stumbling, unbalanced through the woods, trying to attack me. This has screwed up my whole life, this you know who shit. He has killed hundreds, destroyed hundreds of thousands of lives, yet no one can kill him.

So there I stand, incased in the darkness and cold. I have to apparate now. Right now. I will go and find Harry and Hermione, go back to where we were before. But... Oh My Shit. How could I be so fucking stupid? I cant remember here we were... Maybe i never knew but, oh. Shitshitshitshit. Agh my God. What do I do now? I guess I Apparate. And I do Apparate, to the first place I can think of...

**apologies for the fact that it was short and not very well written! Even if you just have some criticism, a review will help my work massively! Thank you for being amazing and inspiring me to write!**


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